Is curious: how to keep and increase family values

Published: 23.12.2018
 how to keep and increase family values

What means the word "family" for our average contemporary? Agree, first of all comes to mind that it is married couple with the child (more rare - several children). Means, in our consciousness the next image lies: a family is started in order that children were born.

Children appear from the man and the woman. Therefore, in family there have to be a father and mother. Whether so it in practice? Alas, not always. What to say that not only parents and children, generally, enter into family.

Not so long ago the concept "family" joined much more "characters". In pre-revolutionary Russia, Ukraine and other countries of the present CIS in one house (or in one farmstead) there lived several generations at once: grandmothers with grandfathers, their children with the wives and husbands, grandsons, and it is frequent also great-grandsons.

Today, in view of a prompt urbanization, under the same roof it is simple to such extensive families to hold there is no opportunity: no apartment, even five-room, will allow to exist normally to such number of relatives. So the family in our representation considerably decreased, having reduced to parents and the child.

But it in representation. And how the situation in reality is? Alas, relentless statistics demonstrates that the number of incomplete families promptly grows.

Here percent of stains on Russia for different years (in relation to the registered marriages):

In Belarus and Ukraine the situation is not better at all: for the beginning of this century the percent of stains made, respectively, 62 and 55%. In the USA, Canada, the countries of Europe these figures are also more frightening are high: from 40 to 50%.

Ponder: more than a half of marriages in our country breaks up! And the fact that some reduction of this number was outlined in the 2010th year does not say at all that family bonds became stronger. The increasing number of marriages is not registered at all, so, and their disorder is not included into statistics.

There is a lot of causes of destruction of families. First of all it is loss of moral guidelines and values. Not only the church, and and century traditions of the Slavic people read matrimony as something indestructible, given from above. The divorce was considered as something unprecedented, and on divorced looked as at criminals.

Whatever were the spouse/spouse's shortcomings, with them it was necessary to learn to be reconciled, stand each other, to go on compromises and to live further. If people lived with grandfathers grandmothers and other: necessarily learned to interact, find a common language with all, to forgive each other shortcomings. Family values and traditions were so formed: mutual respect, fidelity, responsibility, care of the neighbor, patience, respect for seniors, support of younger.

Then "progress" came. Started talking about emancipation. Women were knocked into the heads that they differ in nothing from men. It in practice means not only the right to vote on elections and an opportunity to hold senior positions: also inspired in women that for them the main thing - independence, career development, and at all not the house. But from time immemorial on the woman the matrimony kept.

It the nature it is allowed to care, bring up, be gentle, vulnerable, tender, giving. If women differ in nothing from men, then why to men not to begin to give birth to children?.

Most often both "partners" (as now it is fashionable to call spouses) show the male line of behavior: aggressiveness, aspiration to prove the case, unwillingness to concede. And the female line of behavior is a line of softness, compliance, pliability.

The man - as the ram, beats regardless of obstacles. And the woman - as water: it seems, recedes before a barrier, but over time tenderly and imperceptibly grinds even sharp rocks. Who so is able now?.

In parallel with emancipation there is a promotion of sexual freedom. Down with any restrictions! Sexual energy - most important, it cannot be constrained, otherwise diseases will begin! A basis of safe marriage - sexual compatibility! Therefore premarital sex - is obligatory: it is necessary to check, you suit one another or not.

Grew cold to "partner"? It is necessary to enter urgently an element of games, to invite the third, to run to the sexologist. If did not help - means, you are incompatible, it is necessary to get divorced and look for that with whom there will be this compatibility.

And nobody teach that sex - only a small part of the relations any more, and not a basis of marriage at all; that the love, family and family values include a concept of a debt, responsibility, patience, friendship, respect.

And all this is shown in years of joint life and conscious self-education while the sexual inclination inevitably cools down over time, and it is norm, but not the tragedy. The passion ceases, but the love grows and develops.

The family relations are the most important for the person. They form base for all his life, give strength to try to obtain something in society. Therefore people who have harmonious families more rare have nervous overloads, failures, depressions in any occasions, they have a stress easier and, respectively, are ill less.

All of us remember a hackneyed Soviet phrase "family - a cell of society". And it did not lose the relevance. We bring those programs and installations which are put in us by family to society. If in the house the egoism thrives, the conflicts are not solved, someone is guilty always, but not you, then how it is possible to wait from the person that in society he will behave differently? Whether the country in which "cells of society" are destroyed can, to develop successfully?.

Today the situation was so heated that already the government paid attention to it. Recently promotion of family values began. But in parallel also the menacing trends about which we wrote above accrue. What to do not to allow final extinction of family as fact?

First of all to begin with itself: to reconsider the relation to the world, to the duties, to other people. The woman should remember that she is a woman, and 99% of success in marriage preservation depend on it. To understand that independence, careerism, hardness and upholding of the point of view - male qualities.

It is necessary to learn to build the family relations. To study. As our traditions already thoroughly suffered and parents can not always teach us to the correct image of family, it is necessary to look for independently knowledge - the benefit, now any information is available to all.

Read ancient sources (The Veda, the Bible, the Koran, other sacred writing) and modern works (D. Carnegie, S. Lazarev, books Nikitinykh and many other things), you go to seminars, listen to lectures (O. Torsunov, R. Narushevich, M. Targakova, etc.), compare the obtained information, in "points of intersection" look for the truth, put into practice.

Find to yourself a positive example. If you have a familiar harmonious family where the relations are constructed on love and mutual understanding where all are happy and benevolent - be at them on a visit more often, observe, ask council. Never listen to councils from those who do not follow them! If the lonely divorced woman tells you as it is necessary to behave with men, think that is cost by her councils and what they will lead to.

Create the family traditions. Begin with trifles: to gather all family at one table at least once in a week, to spend together days off, to leave on the nature. To see off the husband for work with a kiss and mental blessing, to greet with a smile and a tasty dinner, not to saw it on trifles, not to argue with it even if there is a strong wish (better at present to agree, and then, later, delicately to return to this subject).

To praise, thank, tell tender words at least by 10 times more often than to the critic. To show respect and obedience for parents to be attentive and loving to children Е To watch less the TV-programs propagandizing scandals, egoism and debauchery.

Family values do not study at schools or institutes. Therefore study science of happy family life independently, and let you be accompanied by success on this hard, but fertile way!


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